Thursday, May 16, 2013
Some Rules For Dealing With The Aged From One Old Enough To Know
by Jim Rapp
When you stop to visit with an old person
ask them where they are going;
you will need to remind them
when your conversation is ended.
Don’t put out food for stray puppies
and don’t start correspondences
with retirees. Once fed, they’ll never
cease to come back for more.
Speak loudly to old people on principle;
if they are hard of hearing they’ll appreciate
your consideration. If not they’ll shout back
loudly enough for you to hear them.
When greeting an old friend always
state your name. It will save your friend
the embarrassment of not remembering you,
and you the chagrin of having been forgotten.
It isn’t safe to follow closely,
old folks climbing stairs;
besides their tendency to slowness,
they’re prone to put on airs.
When you’ve invited your aged father
to eat out with you, and he is fumbling
for his wallet – have patience;
eventually he’ll find it.
When you see an old lady having trouble
getting across a busy street,
don’t just sit there racing your engine;
honking loudly will inspire her to run faster.
If an old geezer has trouble understanding you, write it out.
If that doesn’t work draw pictures, use sign language.
As a last resort take him home with you and watch TV;
the evening news may have a missing person’s report.